my eyes are small but they have seen the beauty of enormous things
O, Wreteched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of Death? Thanks be to Christ Jesus our Lord.
–Rom 7.24, 25
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; … always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.
…So do not lose heart, while the outer self is wasting away, the inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light, momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.
–2 Cor 4.7-9, 11, 12, 16, 17
So, here I sit, in the fifth apartment I’ve lived in in the past 20 months, where Spruce meets Pine in the West End of Lancaster City, skipping church (and the coffee shop) because I simply don’t feel physically up to it (this weekend has been rather difficult). If, a year ago, I thought the early part of 2007 was a tough year, it was only preparation (mere child’s play, perhaps) for 2008. I frequently am left second-guessing the decisions I made at the end of last year and “what if…” pops up daily in my confused thought process. But when grounded with the reality of the Truth revealed to me in the Scriptures, and when confronted with that Truth by friends, I realize such sentiments are only selfish pursuits aimed at the questioning of God’s providence and sovereignty — why me? why now? Instead of such questions, I think, perhaps, the best posture to assume would be that of Job: Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I shall return. The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away — Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1.21). In fact, the better question, in the midst of trying times, should be “Why not me? Why not now? If those of us who claim Christ are to magnify Him in all things, should we not accept our present condition, whatever it may be, to make His name more glorious? If there are those who will not magnify Him in times of great duress (and curse Him instead, or ask the natural, but near ridiculous, question “where was God”?), will not we, his faithful people, be willing to make his name great in our similarly difficult scenarios?
As each year passes, the more I realize that life is brutal and that the reality of the curse remains evident. This reality could so easily lead us into those dark nights of despair where everything is hopeless and where we are lead to believe that nothing will ever get better or change. And they might not. At least in this life (Psalm 30.4-5). But, as I learn, year by year and day by day, there is much to hope for. We are granted all that we need in this life which leads us into godliness; participation in the Divine Nature (2 Peter 1). Daily, thru the difficulties and trials this present, physical age brings upon us, we are made more like Him. The change we oh-so-long-for is happening and is coming. In this life and in the next. We can second guess our decisions and lament this present age, but the power to see real transformation and real change is at hand, and while we tarry for the night, our joy will come in the morning (Ps. 30.5). Paul pleads with us to see thru this lens; it is our only hope of remaining faithful when life collapses on us. When we hold onto His promises, the bleakness of this existence is worth pushing through and on til the end. Creation groans. Restoration will come.
Expectations will remain unmet. This is a reality we have to accept and not become disappointed and angry with God when the reality of this hits. We need to see this as an opportunity to draw near to Him and let him change us in our disappointment — which often reveals to us that we’ve let good things become ultimate things [idolatry]. When I left Pittsburgh for Richmond on Saturday January 5th of this year, there was a lot that I expected to happen. Some did and some did not. Other difficulties seemingly came out of nowhere, and because of the many disappointments I faced while there (and am still dealing with - most of you know of my ongoing medical confusions that I frequently blame on happening only because of my time in Virginia), I fall into regret and into lament. But, as reminded by one of my closest friends the other night, there was purpose in it. Had I not ventured into the Confederate Capital, I would not have had the privilege of meeting three of the godliest Christian men I know (and attended the Vintage21 Men’s Conf, which I can’t describe with words how valuable it was). I learned so much from them in my brief time there that it is near impossible to say that it was a mistake to go (though I often do).
We undervalue the importance of Community (and in that Accountability and Confession). We cannot continue to be Lone Christian Rangers. It will not work. And it was not meant to be that way (Acts 4.32-37, among others). This may have been the greatest lesson that I learned in Pgh and Rva. After visiting and/or attending at least 13 churches in just under two years, I’ve come to learn that it is impeccably foolish of us to think we can go on without community, fellowship and accountability (some of the very factors that ignited the early church and its exponential growth upon growth). We’ve become so individualistic in the West that we think we’re exempt from the commands in Hebrews and elsewhere and that if we show up on Sunday, slip out the backdoor and never come together the rest of the week that this is somehow okay. I think to some degree I am speaking more of Lancaster here than of Pgh and Rva, because these were the great and grand lessons I learned during my time away, and to come back and realize what a gap there was/is here is to some degree frightening. It is all well and fine to come together and spend time hanging out with each other — but are we ready, willing and able to get beyond surface conversations and interactions with each other? Are we serving each other (the local body) and are we serving others (our community) with the hopes of reaching them too with the gospel? I hope and pray that we can begin to foster more and more of this here and throughout our (small) but great city! Doing life deep together builds strength, encouragement and transformation not otherwise known. We absolutely must get beyond keeping each other at arm’s length. The body of Christ cannot fulfill its mission in such a way.
I’ll end with this:
And I heard a loud voice from the Throne saying “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with men, He will dwell with them and they will be His people…and death shall be no more; neither shall there be any more mourning, nor crying, nor pain, for the former things have passed away…And He said, write these things down, for these words are faithful and true.
–Rev 21.3-5