Appalachia to Argentina: Adultery, One of the Seemingly Unforgivable Sins.
by Monica Marusek
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There are sins that, Christian or not, our culture has deemed seemingly unforgivable. The shame brought upon a woman in light of her husband’s infidelity often times ends in divorce or separation. I cannot pretend to know or understand the weight of that shame and the loss of pride that goes along with it. That is why I was thoroughly surprised by the kind of response that Jenny Sanford has taken toward her husband, Gov. Mark Sanford (R) of South Carolina, after his full admission of infidelity this afternoon.
“I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.
Psalm 127 states that sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him. I will continue to pour my energy into raising our sons to be honorable young men. I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.
This is a very painful time for us and I would humbly request now that members of the media respect the privacy of my boys and me as we struggle together to continue on with our lives and as I seek the wisdom of Solomon, the strength and patience of Job and the grace of God in helping to heal my family.”
I am not trying to make light of the grave and utterly sinful actions of men who cowardly engage in infidelity, but this woman’s forgiveness of her husband’s sin displays the power of the Gospel message: God’s being justified in holding our sins against us, but through belief in Christ and repentance experiencing true forgiveness. Heavy.
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read the full article here.
Matt Robinett
Many times, I have wrestled with this myself. With my own marriage fast approaching, I often wonder what (hypothetically) I would ever do in a situation like that.
I instantly am reminded by God how often I commit adultery on Him (by loving our sin and continuing to dabble in it), and how often the Church collectively retreats to whores and prostitutes of the times (prosperity gospel, pagitt-esque theology), and then how mercifully, and quickly He offers forgiveness on us.
I hope I never have to endure this situation, but I am greatly humbled, encouraged, and challenged by his wife’s response.
Jun 25, 2009 @ 1:40 am
paul
wow. i got chills reading that. really. thank you so much for putting this up.
Jun 26, 2009 @ 12:58 am
Yvonne
I first heard about this on Conan O’Brien, in a little joke commercial about political adulterers in the past- though shaming Gov. Sanford for not keeping it in America. I know it’s meant to be funny, but it’s awful. I read the article, and it’s so interesting how people respond. So many comments seemed to be geared towards the wife in how “stupid” she is for taking him back and being an enabler. None of us can really know the true story, and you don’t understand the situation unless it’s close to you.
Some very good friends of ours went through this a little over a year ago, and I got to see a lot of it first hand. The husband had been fooling around for a few months and he was using Scott and some other friends as covers. What made it all the more heartbreaking was that they just had their first child together just a couple months prior, still breastfeeding when he left. The wife was in shambles. She couldn’t eat … and because she couldn’t eat, she had a hard time feeding the baby. She had a hard time praying and reading Scripture. When I would visit I would pray with her and tried encouraging her through the word. I got to see a lot of her pain first hand — and let me tell you, there is nothing like it.
She was still willing to talk to him. She wanted it to work and as much as she could muster would pray every day that God would turn his heart around. He was wrestling with and doubting God through the entire affair. She constantly reminded him through text messages about how their older son (he was through another relationship) kept asking about him, and wondering where he was; that the baby kept her up all night; that she loved him. All true, but also to keep him from running away from the havok he caused. For a month he came by now and then to see the kids and had very painful conversations with his wife– he was so lost. It was very painful for her but she refused to close the door. She was guarded yes. But she was still willing to listen – he had no one else to talk to because all of his friends and family wouldn’t talk to him (and to a degree, understandably so). At one point he’d even said to her through tears and not really understanding, “You have become Jesus to me.”
After that month or so of turmoil, he came back. He surrendered his cell phone, deleted his MySpace, and given her all the passwords to email accounts and what not– he didn’t trust himself. Eventually they started marriage counseling and he’d been going through personal counseling. He was running from God, from his wife and from his children.
The few times that we visit shortly after they came back together, and making it a point to stay in touch, Scott and I have really seen God working in ways that people who don’t know Him wouldn’t understand. We were able to see the husband not grasp the pain he caused to really feel the gravity of it. To see real, hard repentance work out itself out is phenomenal. To see the painful strength that the wife had makes me want to be a woman like that. To see the husband be completely transformed by God’s grace is encouraging, humbling, and praise worthy. And there was a lot that we didn’t see, so I can’t imagine how much more amazing God’s work was in this.
… That was really long but I wanted to share it. Although we (praise God) hadn’t gone through it ourselves, being in the midst of someone else’s struggle is close enough. It makes it all the more real that it can happen to anyone; and that God can do more than we could ever imagine.
Jun 30, 2009 @ 1:22 pm