WTFWJD? | (on Christian cursing)
"Andrew Murray" by Amy Roberts
More Christians of prominence are being “accused” of profanity from the pulpit. How do Christians navigate the increasingly clouding waters of holiness in speech?
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[NOTE: no curse words are used in this article other than some mild "profanity" used in pastor Ed Young's linked video and in one of the linked movie clips]
UPDATE 9/11/09: Patrol Magazine has just posted a great editorial on this topic that I cannot recommend highly enough.
This is a tough topic to write about. I don’t know that I can beat Jon Acuff’s article on Stuff Christians Like, or cause as much of a flurry as pastor Ed Young, but I would like to lend my thoughts to the discussion. By the way, before we start, in the interest of full disclosure: I curse. In fact, probably more than most Christians.
First and foremost: God does call us to purity. To holiness. To right living. Sin should not abound because grace is abundant. Christians are supposed to be pure in contrast to the ways the rest of the world is dark. We are called to look different than “non-Christians” in affection, thought, conduct, and speech and I have definitely failed much in this respect. Words are very powerful. They can bring communities together or tear them apart. This is what Colossians 3:8 is talking about. Paul mentions several things that can hurt others in a relational sense and his final thing is “obscene talk”. Coarse, filthy, and inappropriate statements about others can infect an entire group as much as anger, gossip, or slander, whether or not they use “bad” words. Speech is a precious gift God has given to us and it should be used to His glory and His honor. But, what in humans glorifies him the most? As broken, weak sinners, what is it that God calls us to over and over and over again?
This article is not a defense of Christians cursing. I’ve been a Christian for a while now and have heard many arguments around this issue. You have the classic “there’s no list in the Bible of curse words” or the related “curse words are just random arbitrary words that the culture says are wrong” (both arguments are sort of absurd). On the other side you have those that say Christians should never curse because “we are called to a higher standard of holiness”, and this is absolutely true. (It is this idea that has given me the most pause on this topic and originally inspired this article.) I’ve also heard it said that Christians definitely should never say a curse word because we could mess up our “witness”. A quick note on that. While this is true, it needs some nuance. Jesus acted in such a way that religious people looked at him and said “He’s drunkard, a glutton, and a blasphemer.” Under our current idea of a “witness” or “testimony”, we would have to say that Jesus messed up his witness to the Pharisees. Did he? I don’t think so. Is it really the case that if anyone (or any whole group, for that matter) thinks that we aren’t acting how they think “God’s people” should act, we are suddenly in sin?
There was a time from high school to freshman year of college that I could not physically bring myself to curse. This was also when I was at the most legalistic point of my entire life. But from freshman year through sophomore year I really began to curse more and for some reason, it almost seemed to help my “witness” with “non-Christians”. For some reason they felt more comfortable, less judged, and more open to discussions. This has been a trend I’ve seen. And don’t worry, this isn’t the “we can only relate to cursing people if we curse!” defense. It’s much deeper than that. More on this later.
I’ve noticed another strange thing as well. Many of the most mature Christians I’m closest to, many of my favorite Christian artists, most of the seminarians I know, many of the seminary professors, and nearly every Presbyterian I know (I say that with love) curses. More than this, though, I’ve heard the cursing of nearly every Christian hero I’ve had-both past and present. Augustine, Calvin, and Luther all have their famous turns of phrases. But not just my dead heroes. Everyone from John Piper to Matt Chandler to many of the pastors I’ve had over the years color their language with words typically thought of as “cursing”, though mostly not from behind the pulpit.
But most interestingly, the Bible itself seems to have a lot of cursing in it. In Philippians, Paul uses the very strong slang curse word for “feces” (our contemporary “s-word”) when referring to the “rubbish” that he counts all things as compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ as Lord. Prophets often say curse-strength statements to God’s people. At the end of Nehemiah, he gathers some sinful fathers together and “he cursed them, beat them, and pulled out their hair.” This isn’t the squeaky clean, cookie-cutter, “holiness” modern American Christianity tries to espouse.
And here we reach my ultimate point. What God calls us to and desires in us, and what is most attractive to “non-Christians, is authenticity as He changes us. A recognition of who we are as needy people that have not yet arrived. He does not call us to be and act like unbroken people in a broken world. He calls us to be the needy, messy people we are as we live in a messy, broken world. I’m realizing more and more the Church has exalted a false distinction between sacred and secular, even in language. God desires truth (honesty/authenticity) in our inmost parts, and sometimes authentically speaking may mean saying “bad” words.
I think this is what made it easier for me to engage “non-Christians” in conversation. It wasn’t the “bad words” that made me relateable, it was the authenticity of expression. It’s talking like a real person in a real world to real people about real issues. I think God is far more pleased with honest expressions that include cursing than exalted attempts at “cleaning up” one’s language at the expense of honest, human, speech. There’s something about rougher, harsher language that’s easier to connect to because we live in an equally rough, harsh world. This is why there will always be an artificiality to “Christian” movies that supposedly talk about “real issues”. Watch the husband/wife argument scenes in the movies “Fireproof” and then “Revolutionary Road” and tell me which one taps into the core of who you are as a human and affects you more (Very strong language in the second clip by the way, but not much).
The word “profanity” literally means “outside the temple” and the word “obscenity” literally means “off stage”. We shouldn’t use coarse language to try and be “cool” or “provocative”. Those words (“profanity” and “obscenity”) imply that there may be a place for those things – not “in the temple” or “on the public stage”, but in more private conversation and thought and discourse.
There are definitely instances where I mess it up and something in me says oh, I shouldn’t have said that or Paul, you really only said that for shock value, didn’t you? or wrong place, wrong time, Paul or simply: too far. This happens more than I’d like to admit. Maybe that’s the big take away here. It’s not that “cursing” is either wrong or right in and of itself. It overflows from the heart, and we all know that certain actions (or words) are sin when done at the wrong time with the wrong people or with the wrong motives. Once more, this is what Paul is talking about in Colossians 3:8. I don’t think he has in mind specific words as he writes, but rather the motives and spirit of our words- to bring together or tear apart. The passage is not necessarily about the “naughty words” one uses. It is about using the right words in the right context to the right people at the right time in the interest of not tearing others down. Anything that tears anyone down is considered “obscene talk” by Paul. Now that’s a lesson the church could learn, and under that standard, I know far more fundamentalist Bible-Belt preachers that regularly curse (in the Pauline sense) from behind their pulpits each week than the preachers they regularly chide for “cursing”.
So this is not a call to cursing. Rather, it’s a call to authenticity and freedom, even in our language. To be real people living in a real world. To know, embrace, and rejoice in the fact that God loves that different parts of His Church look very different and have very different ways of wearing their Holiness. We all have the same call to Holiness (this isn’t relativism) but we wear it differently based on our calling, mission, culture, and community. Jesus’ way of wearing holiness made him come across as a drunkard and glutton to many because of the context and mission He was called to. Paul’s way of holiness looked like saying at the Jerusalem council he would abstain from eating meat sacrificed from idols, but then feeling free to do it elsewhere and even telling the Romans that this sort of abstinence was both unnecessary and potentially harmful (though had its place).
As we go through time, drawing nearer to God, our authenticity changes as we grow more into the image of Christ. It’s a long, struggling, hard process, but it is what we should strive for. Self-control can be a good thing. It flows into other areas of our life as well. But it’s a process. As we strive for holiness, can we please reclaim the old truth that holiness is from the inside-out and not the outside-in? Whatever happened to St. Ausgustine’s famous summary of the Christian life: “Love God and do what you want”. Is that messy? Hell, yes. I hope we Christians can continue to work towards loving our God and each other in our messiness, as we strive towards true authenticity, which is this: finding our broken needy selves in the arms of a strong loving Savior who is slowly making us whole, who would rather us be inwardly honest than externally clean (Matthew 23:27).
Paul, good post. I have great concerns for those who have great concerns about cursing (and this includes me several years back). In my experiences, those who are greatly offended at Christian cursing have to some degree misunderstood the Gospel and mission of our God. We all certainly do not have God’s mission figured out, but this is a fundamental fault. What these people are doing is equating morality with Christianity (with of course some catchy phrases slapped on the end!). This manifests itself in various ways: cursing, drinking (even a sip of it!), hair length, dress, smoking, . . . etc. The “focus” is God serving us, changing, us, that’s it. When we get saved, we clean our lives up. That’s the “Gospel.” I also find it interesting that these people/churches are often inactive in serving. Their gospel is the problem. There’s no mission to morality! Certainly there is an internal mission to get your own act together, but there is much confusion as to how to “reach” those rebellious teens or even other people groups for that matter. I think some of this misunderstanding can be observed in missionaries who attempt to convert the natives to wear pants and button up shirts, speak English, and eat hamburgers and hot dogs.
One problem in our Western American culture is that we are too individually focused. GOD serves me. God changes Me. god blesses ME. No doubt God does change the individual, but we far too often are missing our service to God. God is on a mission and we are his vessels. A tremendous part of the Gospel is, first of all, being included in God’s people/salvation, but also living out His mission as the Body of Christ. [I do not intend to define the “mission of God” here and am leaving it ambiguous for the sake of the focus of this post.]
To be clear, Christianity does contain facets that overflow into common morality. Excessiveness in drink, anger, greed, self-promotion, . . . are advised against by both. The problem with morality is that it is relative. Well intending Christians here may think it wrong to drink, but are they “better” than well-intending Christians in Scotland who do? Do they understand the Gospel of God better? Are they more sanctified?
In any case, back to the focused topic: profanity, it is sounds that we make. How are sounds themselves wrong? What if I grumble and unknowingly make the sound of a curse word in Chinese? Did I sin? All sounds are communication. All words are rhetoric to communicate a particular point. Certain words communicate better than others (good use of the movie clips Paul). As you said, Paul, it is the overflow of the heart that is wrong. Am I speaking in anger? If so perhaps I should use the permitted words: freakin’, gosh darnit, or just leave it at, “son of a.” Certainly this is absurd. Whatever is said has come out of anger/slander; the noise makes no difference. Perhaps it will benefit to give an example in another context. I just came back from the beach with my family. Every girl there wears a bikini. I could not possibly go to the beach without a girl in a bikini crossing my eyesight. Did I sin by seeing a girl in a bikini, or is it when I lustfully look with intention? The two are certainly not the same.
So I conclude with suggesting that all things are clean in themselves. I do not think it is a matter of holiness. We make them unclean. It is with anger/slander/perversity that we make profanity profane. The problem that faces us today is how to work with Christians who have this misunderstanding. It is wrong if we cause divisions by the exercise of our freedom, but on the other hand, it is most definitely wrong if we allow professing Christians to misunderstand the Gospel of Jesus Christ (as I have suggested that they do). This unfortunate misunderstanding damages genuine efforts to live out God’s mission with integrity. As with most matters in the Church, this is a delicate issue that must be addressed with care. Where/how do we begin?
Peace.
Brice
Interesting article to read. much needed topic to discuss. I have some disagreements here and there…but i’m not sure that i want to bring up anything that would destroy the heart of what you are trying to do. discussion, not dismissal is my intent here.
i’m not sure that “authenticity” is a strong enough argument to allow for Xtn cursing. (I’m just saying that more discussion and ‘fleshing out’ is necessary here…plz, no-one call me a hypocrite as I tend to curse a lot!!).
perhaps we could consider this. cursing, with its use of frickatives (sp?), and its tendency to exascerbate often volitile situations, should be put into the category of violence. Cursing has the tendency to lead to violence…or better yet..cursing has a peculiar tendency to breakdown shalom.
the psychology seems to be the same as violence. when you curse, you feel better just like when you react violently against injustice, you tend to feel better (at least you think you will feel better).
Frak!! this is getting long..
Well explained Paul and very much appreciated. I’d definitely say that for myself, at one point growing up I felt enslaved to cursing. I struggled not to curse. I desperately wanted to fuel my need for acceptance, so I got in the habit of swearing constantly. Ultimately in my speech, I wasn’t authentic with friends at all. “Cursing” as you perfectly defined, within our culture wasn’t apart of my daily vocabulary. Although, now I know I am sinful and am completely loved and accepted by Christ and this is authentically who I am, a sinner yet redeemed and am still being redeemed. I don’t have to condemn myself when I fall into sin.
You hit the nail on the head with describing the reality of how selfish our motivations are. Within this call to authenticity and freedom in Christ,(not just in speech) the reality of our sin, our internal struggle is exposed. Which We Have No Need to be
Ashamed because of the hope we have through the love of God through the Holy Spirit.
I really enjoyed reading this man.
great discussion, paul. love esp how you mentioned jesus as having the appearance of the glutton and drunkard. he was a wild guy. hope that point makes us slow to judge the “wild ones” next time.
also couple thoughts regarding christians cursing:
col 3:2-3 “set your minds on things above, not on earthy things. for you died and your life is now hidden with christ in god.”
and romans 8:29 about being conformed to the image of christ.
and christ was wild… and he was HOLY. when we consider cursing as a christian, let’s first be concerned about daily dying to ourselves and being conformed to the image of christ. we are image bearers of GOD. let us be more concerned about that role than trying to be “authentic”. authenticity is great, just as long as it’s not our focus.
also,
eph. 4:29 “let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” we are often the vessels by which god builds up the weary or shows his heart of mercy to discouraged soul. not to say grace cannot be extended if curse words are involved — i believe they can. but let’s be more concerned about expressing the grace that’s on the heart of god than our rights to curse.
k. that’s it.
thanks for writing this, paul. i think it WAS an extension of grace to many believers.
[...] wanted to drop a quick plug for a new article I posted yesterday in the online magazine I run, Reform & Revive. The article is on the topic [...]
Wonderful argument my friend, I especially agreed with your point on how words are simply sounds and meaning is only determined by intention behind said word. This argument has opened my eyes so that I have decided to use all given cuss words instead of there regular counterparts such as shit instead of poop. I can now fully embrace my authenticity. I hope I become a more real person from this.
All condescension aside, I think you made my point for me. The fact that you still felt free to fully type out the word “shit” without editing it at all shows that there must be times that you, too, feel it is appropriate to use what you’re “really” thinking rather than a whitewashed version. So is it only okay to say curse words when you’re angry at another Christian for thinking there are deeper issues to be addressed than simply the words we say?
I refer you to the following article: http://bible.org/article/toward-evangelical-theology-cussing
Thoughts?
Hey, I thought morality is not relative. I believe you are confusing morality with the general public’s ideals, Brice.
I am an Officer in the United States Marine Corps. Marines are known for their foul mouths and ability to consume alcohol. With that being said I also attended Philadelphia Biblical University and have heard Christians claim what you have about foul language and Paul and some Prophets using foul language. That was 2,000 years ago and we do not know contextually how those words were used back then outside of scripture. Maybe they were harsh but that does not mean that they were foul and used the same as curse words today. I do not curse but that does not mean I do not let my Marines know when they mess up. If you can’t think of better words to use then you are not very smart. I am sick of people trying to justify their sin. I don’t know you or even really care to check back here to see what you say in reply, if you say anything at all.
As a Marine and a Christian I stand up for what is right. I will hold Marines to Marine Corps Orders and the standard we have set. Marines attempt to do that without the Holy Spirit, the unsaved ones at least. We also try to stand apart from the rest of society. Christians need to do the same. It is not about your witness…that is a load of garbage. Try using words to witness…use the Bible to learn how to do that instead of using it to justify your actions. God’s Law is how we learn what sin is and how the world can see how exceedingly sinful sin is. I don’t need sinners to feel comfortable with me. I don’t need friends in the world. They need a messenger. Try telling them they are headed for hell if you really love them. Hell is a noun. Use it that way. Filler words make you sound stupid. There is enough of that going around.
If you read this I hope you take a good look at yourself and it seems like you think cursing is wrong but impractical. Try it. It works for a Marine.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
hey people check MAtthew 23:33-34…
That is Incredible!! Right now, I still got a long way to go. I will visit this blog often!
Paul, I don’t understand why you would write an article to excuse so called christians so they feel better about cursing. The bible is very clear that we will be judged by every idle word that we say, also good and bad water DO NOT come from the same place. I agree with Jack, the Marine, quit excusing yourself and others. God’s word is true, don’t water it down to suit your own needs. Be ye holy as I am holy, it’s in the word. I pray your heart will be changed, for in this you are dead wrong according to scripture.
Paul: your blog has some good thoughts. I don’t necessarily agree with the end results, but it’s food for thought. I lean toward what Joe Kim and Amy shared.
I didn’t grow up hearing a lot of course language at home. Of course I heard it at school. I was never taught that it would make me more authentic. Or that the lack of it makes one inauthentic, legalistic, Pharisaiic, or in other ways posessing a disengenuous faith. My relationship with God is not an attempt to scam anyone else. I still battle the temptation (and sometimes fall) to curse in anger. But I’m not thinking about being authentic at the time. I’m thinking about how wronged I feel and how the “wronger” owes me.
I did picked up cursing in college. It didn’t pepper every conversation, but I wondered what makes it wrong. I didn’t think it of it as being authentic. Sometimes I used it as way around figuring out and expressing with more clarity what got to me, then dealing with it.
Also, a few years ago, I realized that others’ experiences with cursing as a release of anger was not mine. It actually feed it.
So, a few years ago, I started to pray and seek God as to why I curse/swear/profane, and to get His view. Bitterness was a root. For me, that was what I had to work on — my attitude. Anger’s not wrong. And God has every right to be angry at me. In all my quiet prayer and communion with Him though, He’s never spoken to me with course intents, degradation of body parts or functions, bitter hate of me for my sin, and so on. That is what I am hope shows in my reactions to others when they curse.
And so many apologize for offending me. I suppose because they hear me do it so little (if ever). I appreciate that.
Thanks for writing this blog. Discussion is good. Writing this reply has made me think of how to respond in a “nice” way to those who apologize.
A note about authenticity’s limits: if I was fully authentic, I’d act out (or at least share) every sexual thought, eat anything I want when I want, and drink too much. I’d disregard the discipline of getting up for work and staying through the day, I’d never hold the door open for someone whose arms were full, and I’d speed down rural roads with abandon. Among other things. That wouldn’t be good.
So I’m limiting my authenticity to this description.
Hey guys,
I can’t believe that this post is still getting hits and comments. Paul, you did a great job bringing up the topic. So much so, that you’ve inspired me to blog again. I wrote a long response. maybe thoughts can be used as a foil for yours. I hope things are going well for you. take care!
http://dysfunctionalpanopticon.blogspot.com/2011/10/seminar-on-cursing.html
I loved every minute of this article. I teach high schoolers and also live in the “Bible Belt.” Some of these kids are SO uptight about some aspects of Christianity that it drives me up the wall (esp. the more controversial ones). Articles like this remind me that there are Christians out there that are at least open for a two way conversation. Not many of “those” ’round here.
I appreciate your venue on this subject and find it a matter of interest at present. Let me say that at 55 I’m still on the hunger quest for closeness w/ Jesus and would like to say my life is about living for Him and his purposes. With that in mine I find all vulgarity an offense to the pursuit of knowing Christ, and marvel at the simplemindedness of adding colorful adjectives/adverbs to enhance what one might be trying to express. Why? because I understand the meaning of the choice words and there etymology. Does that make me a judge? Probably. I find the argument often used that Jesus and the prophets used colorful language to force hearers to reconsider their paths, without weight. At what old school dictionary could one refer to for the meaning of “raca”, or “dung”? How does one know the cultural context of such words? Why didn’t Paul just use the word for feces if he meant it. It seems those who justify their language in such a case presume a higher knowledge than is actually available.
The word gentleman was in it’s beginning a means to identify one who held property and had a family coat of arms. He might be a scoundrel as well as a gent, but today, a gent is a courteous male. The same can be said of many words now in vogue, sigh, even those who give speeches to crowds assuming they know what church is about.
As a child I learned by experience, in my fathers presence to never use words I did not know the meaning of. It was not acceptable to assign my own definitions, something I did more often or not, leaving me an escape when caught.
What do curse words really mean? Are they a means to strengthen our emphasis? Are there other acceptable choices? To me the greatest test of anything attempted or chosen is, what does Jesus think of this matter? To me it’s all that counts. If this simple test of true christian authenticity were a principle in the self government of every man, woman or child we might well hear less attempts at blending the culture of God’s Kingdom with that of counter cultures vying for our hearts and minds.
We do indeed have a clear command from the Apostle Paul that we are to season our speech with salt, and consider Jesus said that we will give an account for every idle word….just what are we to understand idle words to mean? perhaps words that are “unnecessary” or without purpose? How then could He caution His disciples about this manner of expression and yet He himself be a violator of His own requirements? I would then assume some christians to believe Jesus to be schizophrenic.
Cursing is in actuality a defamation of the one we have opposition against. On can curse another with words that are wholesome as well as taboo. Cursing then is not really the challenge posted about. It is indeed the wholesale use of words quite out of context. For a person reborn from above to spout the language of the gutter is to me an individual without a grasp of the Grace that retrieved them from destruction. III John :11 ;”the one who does evil has not seen God’. Our real issue is in reality a sight issue, that area of ones speech has yet to meet God.
I am usually not confrontational over colorful language and rarely address it when spewed unless it be one who knows better and abuses the innocence of the yet unlearned. I find here a weak defense of “authenticity” to simply give license to continue the impulse of the unregenerate flesh we all are called to subdue. One might even call it our cross to bear. In my many yrs of attempting to follow Christ as He reveals Himself to me, my fleshly impulses have never rolled over and played dead because I read the Bible, prayed, tithed etc. According to The NT it never will. The opposition we face is actually the conditioning of glorifying God. God is not glorified when there is no obstacle, neither is it a great win for the NYY to defeat a college team in preseason training 15 to 1.
Yet for christian to “sanctify” fleshly opposition seems now to be the new trend. Am I missing a few clues or has someone moved the boundaries and redefined sanctification? What are we set apart for or unto?
I would love to hear your thoughts and ,as it appears you may be a youth minister, can you observe the spiritual growth of those who in humility lay down their vice for Christ as opposed to those who really just want the way of the cross made easier.
cheers
curt
Curt: you cou covered every argument I have heard that supports cursing, etc. And you did do intelligently. Nicely done!
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