Decision-Making Non-Answers
“To seminary, or not to seminary?” That’s the question for our newest Contributor, Katie Olmstead, as she navigates the ambiguities and nuances of that most frustrating of mysteries: the Will of God.
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Last February, the decision was made. Everything would change come August. I would leave my home in Phoenix for Philadelphia; continue to work for Food for the Hungry part-time remotely while going back to school. My cross-country road trip was charted, housing scouted out, mental shift made and farewell gifts purchased. I was ready for the adventure of a new city, new friends, classes, books, changing seasons, green and rain (so not the desert), wealth of history and arts to explore, another step towards my long-term dream….blah, blah, blah.
It is now October, the decision deferred for Spring maybe Fall. All my plans were unexpectedly postponed (or maybe canceled, ugh). Although convinced it was the right conclusion in light of changed circumstances, I am still filled with disappointment, anxiety and confusion; faced again with the decision of what is next. I catch myself daydreaming about avoiding it completely: driving my Rabbit, jumping on a plane or catching a train until I’ve explored every new interesting place and escaped this suffocating suburbia. Yet adventures offer no solution and I wake up to reality, decisions still far from clear. (more…)
